Whether you're getting abducted by a short Sicilian in the woods, arguing with the Dread Pirate Roberts, or facing an unwanted forced marriage to an evil prince, you always do it with dignity,
Sure, you've made some mistakes in the past but you never lose your cool,
No, no pathetic tears come to your eyes as you demand answers or confront villains,
Here's the thing that's always confused us, you swam through eel-infested waters, were carried up a windy cliff, stumbled through the Fire Swamp and you were almost swallowed by the lightning sands in the process, and after all that, your hair is looking gorgeous,
How did you do it? Oh, a wig? Well, that seems obvious,
In this wig with beaded cap, you'll never have to worry about your do' going astray as you're fighting those R.O.U.S,
A great head of hair without fiddling with a curler? That's what we call twue wove.